What We Need to Know

by Eva Wyld Dandylion

I am in love with a Man,
Yet I have been saying in my mind over and over-
WHY IS HE *SO* IMPORTANT TO ME?!
Does he realize, how long I have been willing to sit?
By my computer- writing for Hours upon Hours-
Making Edits upon Edits.
Just WAITING- for HIM to realize
That I- Am Important- Too?

I spend my days,
Eyes draining, soul straining,
Trying to get these fucking words out-
And FIXING them-
OVER AND OVER- because they can ALWAYS be better.
And sometimes, I know, that you don’t even open my letters.

Baby, I don’t have OCD-
I’m just trying to repeat the words ENOUGH-
So that you can really *HEAR* me!

So you can hear the words, I specially craft to be understood within your OWN language.
I get SO FRUSTRATED!
When I come across people who aren’t as committed as I am.
We’re all striving for the SAME thing right?!
So why can’t they put in as much effort as I did?

I could attempt to learn EVERYTHING there is to know about the concept of Giving Love- and DIE before ever mastering the art of truly knowing it.
I spend every waking hour of my existence
Working to make my authentic heart available to EVERYONE and REALLY SHOWING IT!
I have devoted my life to studying
This one- single- subject.
~~~

I have what some may think of as Unrealistic Expectations,
Because I’m holding myself and others to Higher-Self Standards of Perfections.

Perfection to me-
My understanding of Perfection-
Contains beautiful flaws, over-the-top guffaws, a collection of colorful and uniquely twisted straws-
You know, the bendy kinds?
The ones that we as kids needed or else REFUSED to drink our glasses of milk unless we had that uniquely shaped straw?
THAT- is a Child’s Version- of Perfection.
Because LORD KNOWS, as stated by Mama Discipline-
She is NOT leaving this table until she drinks her milk,
And LORD KNOWS- that Wildly Rebellious Girl
Will NEVER drink her milk- Until-
She Gets. Her Bendy. Straw.

And what are the Drawbacks of aspiring to attain Pure Excellence?
The times when you get yourself locked in the swirling vortex of your own mind,
Telling yourself that you’re just wasting time-
Trying to have your VOICE in this world, but you’re just too afraid for anyone else to hear it-
Simply- because- it- isn’t- PERFECT.

I re-named myself Wyld this year,
And at the time, I didn’t think I was WILD!
I didn’t even believe it.
I just KNEW that I REALLY WANTED TO BE IT!

I wanted to WILDLY PROCLAIM my FREEDOM
And no longer be afraid of the public’s judging eyes,
OR their groaning sighs of misunderstanding-
When people want you to just STOP talking
Because they have absolutely ZERO interest
In what you’re saying or what you believe in…
Leaving you- with a foul taste in your mouth from the words you’ve choked back for years- wishing to SCREAM:
I AM WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE AND RESPECT SIMPLY *BECAUSE* I AM HUMAN!
I HAVE. THE RIGHT. TO EXIST!
~~~

We have so many useless competitions in this world,
Why are we not having never-ending challenges for:
“Let’s see who can try to love each other MORE!”

You know ACTUALLY-
This is a game that you play with your sons and daughters,
The one where they ask you: “How much do you love me?”
And you- stretch your arms out as WIIIIIDE as you POSSIBLY CAN-
Expressing: “I love you THIS MUCH!”
And your child responds back by trying to GROOOW their limbs to match your example.
It goes on for a while,
But eventually ~the game stops.
Because you both then realize in that moment
That your arms Just Aren’t Long Enough.
To really SHOW- each other how BIG the LOVE in your heart IS
To the point where you know it to be SO TRUE that you don’t HAVE to keep asking!
Maybe, I should stop reading books about love and start practicing my stretching…
Because we are NEVER going to know how much we care for each other until we start taking ACTION!

We’re all too busy with our noses pressed up against clocks,
With our brains TRAPPED in our calendars
Just trying to schedule time for survival
AND when it’s most convenient for you to show your Wife how much you appreciate her.
There somehow- never- seems- to be- enough- time.

Take your heads out of the sands of denial-
Long enough to remember that there are STILL reasons on this planet to Smile.
BECAUSE THIS WORLD HAS SO MUCH BEAUTY IN IT!
And there are people willing to spend their ENTIRE LIVES trying to WAKE YOU UP to show you it!
I would know. Because I am one of those people.

Yeah, I’ve laughed in my own mind thinking, “Oh lord, I’m someday going to be that stereotypical Hippy Girl whose MAIN mission in life becomes about getting people in a circle to sing Kumbaya.”
And I’ll ALSO probably be the first girl to mess with the lyrics and make it’s own rap version called: “Kum-by-YEYEAH!”
♪♪ All we wanna do is sing and laugh together, oh- birds of a feather- no we’ll never be apart!
KUMBY-YEYEAH!!!!! ♪♪

Because Lord knows,
That ALL we want to do is sing and laugh TOGETHER,
And- SLEEP TOGETHER…
because we all KNOW how much SAFER we feel
With our loved one’s soft breathes soothing- us- to sleep.
Because lord knows, that all we want to do is Dance and Laugh and Cry and Pray,
Tell each other that “It’s ALL going to be OKAY!”

THAT is what you DO for your loved ones!
You GIVE THEM the reassurance they need to hear,
That you are going to BE THERE-
That you will stop at NOTHING- to BE THERE-
That you- are GOING- to stick- around.
Come hell or high water, you ASSURE your loved ones:
“I WILL BE THERE!”

♪♪ I’ll be there, I’ll be there….. Whenever you want me, I’ll be there. ♪♪

And personally,
I feel that’s the only thing from each other-
We Ever Really NEED To Know.

© 2013 by Eva Wyld Dandylion